THE TRENTON BULLETIN

THE TRENTON BULLETIN

Trenton Church of Christ, Trenton, Florida

It was lying on the side of the road on the corner to my house. A single beer can discarded as a piece of trash by a person who had used its contents to fill a pleasure and then thrown out the window. I have seen hundreds of discarded cans and this one was no different with the exception of what it represented at that moment. The appeal of its contents had caused a person to purchase it and then consume the momentary feeling of pleasure. When the can was emptied, it had no use and was carelessly thrown out for someone else to pick up. It was empty. It had no use. It had lost its appeal. It was but for a moment. It was worthless.

Man has always sought for the momentary pleasures to fill his void. Looking for the appeal of alcohol man seeks out these cans of vipers poison and drinks his fill and while finding a sense of satisfaction for the moment realizes that it is only for a moment. His life is like the can he threw away – emptied, rejected, little use, shallow and unfulfilled. Lives have been destroyed because of intoxicating drink. Families are torn apart daily by its presence in the home. Young people live with consequences of their actions through the use of alcohol for the rest of their lives. As Herman Melville wrote in “Moby Dick,” it is truly a “demon.”

The wise man wrote in Proverbs 23:29-35, “Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who linger long at the wine, those who go in search of mixed wine. Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly; at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper. Your eyes see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying, ‘They have struck me, but I was not hurt; they have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?’” People of God have been shown by the Lord that alcohol has no value in their lives and no purpose. The great tragedy of its use is the result – like a discarded can on the side of the road.

The appeal of momentary pleasure has driven many to the basement of alcohol’s deceit. There is no value in following a life of drunkenness or even flirting with the dangers of drinking as many do in what they refer to as “social drinking.” That makes as much sense as “social fornication.” The appeal of the Lord is for His people to be “obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy’” (1 Peter 1:14-16). Peter quotes from Leviticus 11:44 where the appeal of God to the people is for them to “sanctify” themselves before Him. One cannot sanctify themselves with a beer in hand.

Someone will pick the beer can up and throw it away. It will be left to families to pick up the pieces of shattered lives. Many who have found themselves in the slavery of alcohol will find their lives thrown on the side of the road as nothing more than an empty life. Christ has the answer and it is found in His love, His mercy, His forgiveness and His strength to overcome. He is the way out of sin, He is the only truth one can find about sin and He is the only one who can give life to empty lives (John 14:6). His path leads to the Father and to salvation. Don’t throw your life away. Be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18)

B. Let your first words be “Thank you!” I Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks." Three reasons:

§ Then take action if possible. You can't do what everyone says! Example: My daughter wanted me to triple her allowance--not a good idea.

§ What can I learn from criticism? Not all are valid. But we can still learn something from all kinds of criticism. Never give the same criticism two weeks in a row. Give the other party at least a month before you bring up the same thing again.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!”

§ "It is to His glory to pass over a transgression and seek love." Proverbs 18:11

The Conclusion - Don't mind criticism… If it is not true, disregard it. If it is unfair, keep from irritation. If it is ignorant, smile. If it is justified, learn from it!

We live in a negative world! We are all bombarded with criticism constantly. Why not allow your home to be a refuge from criticism? Think of your mate as a haven, a peaceful retreat, the ever-quiet eye of the hurricane.

Research has found that the significant decreasing of criticism and negative comments from our family relationships is even more important than learning to express love positively. Small wonder Paul stresses we are to dwell on the positive! "Whatsoever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, dwell on these things" (Philippians 4:8). One of the reasons this is so important is that it takes a great many positive strokes to make up for even one critical comment. So, keep criticisms to a minimum and express them only if you feel it is really necessary. "Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath" James 1:19.

Try promising your mate you will never say a critical word about him or her, make him\her the brunt of jokes, nor in any way speak unkindly of the other or betray your relationship, and ask your partner to do the same!

Think about it… What confidence it gives a woman to know that when other men are making fun of their wives or complaining about their weaknesses like their cooking, homemaking, lovemaking, shortcomings, and faults, her name is safe. And likewise, when women get together and begin to belittle their husbands, what security it gives a man to know that his name will not be mentioned. Oh, it is not because there are no faults; faults are self-evident. It isn't because it wouldn't be justified. Speaking no ill of each other is simply…

Because of your loyalty to one another. How does one overcome being a critical person” TAKE A 24-HOUR CRITICISM FAST!

Start by stopping! For a period of 24 hours, refrain from criticizing yourself, the government, the food, your boss and/or co-workers, your spouse, your surroundings --- come to a complete halt for twenty-four hours!! Watch out for back-seat driving and comments on other drivers. Phone calls are dangerous. Especially watch out when you are hungry or under any kind of time pressure! You cannot criticize anyone for any reason unless human life is in danger. Another exception would be if you hear or see another person who has agreed to take the fast but is criticizing without realizing it. You may, in this case, point out kindly to him/her that she/he has done so and needs to start over, without being critical yourself for having pointed it out!

This is not as easy as it sounds. The majority of people do not succeed in their first attempt. Do not be discouraged. If you find yourself being critical, make a note of the time and start your "fast" over again until you have gone for 24 hours (including the time your are asleep) without being critical at all!

BE CAREFUL NOT TO COMMIT WHAT I CALL, "Criticism of the Heart." If a critical thought enters your mind and you get rid of the thought in a moment, then it does not count and you do not have to start your 24 hours over. If, on the other hand, you let that critical thought stay in your mind and you develop it into a full production with quadraphonic sound and vista vision, then you must start over again. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't succeed in this assignment right away. This is a difficult assignment!

These are the positive objectives that I hope you will experience while doing this:

The answer to the question "Why should I try to stop criticizing? is simply…"So that you can lay a foundation for love and acceptance in your home instead of rejection." Take the pledge of verbal loyalty to the relationship to demonstrate your commitment to it! As a token of your willingness, stop criticizing. Commitment and willingness are two keys to loving, lasting, emotionally-close marriages.

I challenge newlyweds and couples who desire to enrich their marriages and to experience emotional ‘remarriage’ to take the following pledge: "I promise, as your mate, that I will never speak ill of you to friend, family, or stranger. I will not embarrass or belittle you in front of others, nor will I be critical of you in your absence. I will not discuss our personal problems with anyone without your permission. This is my pledge to you." NOW LIVE IT!!!!!

When we have a great respect for someone, that one can have a great influence on us. Especially do we see this clearly illustrated in the teacher-student relationship. If our children have a strong love or attachment to a teacher, whatever that teacher does or says will have a strong influence on what the child accepts or rejects.

This type of relationship can also be seen in those who are religiously minded. If we have a great love or respect for someone, whatever they may say can influence our feelings and actions. So often we hear people say, "Well if Bro. So and So says it's so, it's so." This kind of statement indicates the strong influence many men can have on the belief and actions of other people. Often, the deep respect we may have for someone else is well deserved. They have gained it through diligent study and service. But we must remember we are all human beings and capable of making mistakes. If our faith is built on the teaching of men, we may find ourselves on shaky ground, and our faith shaken because of a change in teaching or conduct of the teacher we have respected so long.

With this idea in mind, it is important we examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5) and see if our life and faith is dictated by the teaching of some man or men rather than by Jesus Christ. In Matthew 28:19,20 Jesus said, "Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost; teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you...." If we have the proper respect for Jesus as our teacher here on earth, His Word will be our rule of faith in this life and not man's. In fact, Paul points out in Colossians 3 the different areas in which the teaching of Christ can influence our life. He begins by saying, "If ye then be risen with Christ...." If we are in Christ, that is we have been buried with Him in baptism and raised to a new life, then we will "seek those things which are above...."

He continues by pointing out that if we are seeking those things he teaches, it will influence our affections, verse 2. We will love those things which are above, spiritual things, rather than the material things of this earth, because our "life is hid in Christ in God."

Not only will it have an influence on our affections but also on our heart. "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence (evil desires) and covetousness, which is idolatry; for which things sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience," v.5. Since the heart of man is that with which he knows, thinks, feels emotion and wills to do, these all would apply to man's heart, for "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." The teaching of Jesus will guide us to fight against such things. The teaching of Jesus can influence our speech (verses 8,9). We are told to put off anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth and lie not. If our respect for the teaching of Jesus is as it should be, our attitude will also be influenced (verse 12-17). We will, among many things listed, manifest kindness, meekness, forgiveness, letting the Word of God rule in our hearts.

In verses 18-21 of this same chapter, he points out that the teaching of Christ directs the home. Wives, husbands and children are all given their responsibilities to one another in the home. Finally he points out, in verses 22-25, that the words of Christ's teaching will influence us at work. We are told that we must work honestly and diligently for our employer, "in singleness of heart, fearing God."

Truly, if we have the proper respect and love for our Lord, His words will influence us in every way. Why not always turn to Him as the foundation and strength of our faith. He will not fail or disappoint us as man can. His promises and rewards are everlasting. His Word is truth.